Yoho Pirates Boat Tours
Captain your own speedboat around the Dutch side — no licence, no experience, no problem
Why Go
Most St. Maarten boat trips park you on the back of a catamaran with a rum punch and a stranger's elbow in your ribs. Yoho Pirates flips the script: you and one co-pilot get your own two-person speedboat, a quick safety briefing, and then you're chasing a guide's wake in a convoy of five along the wildest stretch of Dutch-side coastline.
The Experience
You check in at Port de Plaisance Marina in Koolbaai, get sized for a life jacket, and after a ten-minute how-to your guide leads you out of Simpson Bay Lagoon past the mega-yachts and into open water. From there it's a 120-minute coastal loop with roughly a dozen stops: a coastal run along Simpson Bay Beach, a bouncy pass over 'the Washing Machine' swells off Beacon Hill Point, a low-and-slow through Jet Blast Bay under the Princess Juliana flight path, then the limestone caves at Cupecoy before dropping anchor at Long Bay (the La Samana beach) for the one real swim break. The return leg gives you a straight speed run back and a slow glide past Porto Cupecoy — locals call it the Venice of St. Maarten — before you tie up at base.
What to Try
The Washing Machine leg is the money shot — a short stretch of standing swells where boats bounce like a fairground ride, so hold on and don't try to film. At Jet Blast Bay, cut the engine and look up: if a wide-body is on approach to Princess Juliana, you'll see the belly of the plane before you hear it. Save your GoPro battery for the Cupecoy caves, where the light on the eroded cliffs is best mid-morning, and use the Long Bay stop to actually get in the water — it's calm, clear, and the sand shelves off gently.
Insider Tip
Book the 10:00 AM Morning Marvel slot rather than the 2:00 PM one. The lagoon and open sea are glassier before the trade winds pick up, the sun angle over Cupecoy is better for photos, and you'll have Long Bay largely to yourself before the villa crowds wander down. The 2:00 PM run is bumpier but does line up better with the busiest afternoon arrivals into Princess Juliana if plane-spotting is your priority. Either way, bring a floating dry pouch for your phone (nothing stays dry on the Washing Machine), reef-safe sunscreen only, and skip the flip-flops — shoes stay in the car, so drive in sandals you're happy to leave behind.
The Practical Stuff
Two departures daily: 10:00 AM–12:00 PM (check-in 9:30 AM) and 2:00 PM–4:00 PM (check-in 1:30 PM). The base is Port de Plaisance Marina in Koolbaai (Cole Bay), Dutch side — 10 minutes from Simpson Bay resorts, 15 from Philipsburg cruise pier. Driver must be 18+, passengers 6+; combined boat weight capped at 225 kg / 500 lb. Not suitable if you're pregnant or have back, neck, or heart conditions. Life jackets and refreshments included. USD accepted, cards fine. Full refund if you cancel 48+ hours out. Contact: +1 721 550 6955 or hello@yohopirates.com.
Pair It With
- Bamboo House SXM Guide — A five-minute drive from the marina in Cole Bay — the obvious lunch refuel with sushi and Asian fusion once you've dried off from the tour.
- Maho Beach & Sunset Bar & Grill — You'll cruise past Jet Blast Bay from the water in the morning; head back over land for a sundowner and feel a 747 land ten metres over your head.
- Simpson Bay strip — The Dutch-side nightlife stretch is a short hop from Port de Plaisance — perfect landing spot for cocktails and dinner once the salt has dried.
- Philipsburg / Front Street — If you're off a cruise, tack the morning tour onto a duty-free afternoon on Front Street — the marina is a 15-minute taxi from the pier.
